Family Functions = Mini Koffee With Karan

Hey cuties, 

I am back with another blog. As a kid, I used to wonder, what it must be like to be invited to Koffee With Karan. Now that I’ve grown up, I’ve realized it’s not much different from attending a family function! Family functions are like full-fledged Koffee with Karan episodes, complete with rapid-fire rounds, awkward revelations, and an unrelenting spotlight on your “flaws” (as judged by everyone except you).

Even before you take off your footwear, Aunties are rolling their eyes at you. Starting with light-hearted banter and quirky remarks. "Oh! you don't call us anymore", "Look how grown up you are!" and many more such phrases. 

Then comes the Rapid-fire round, it's relatives vs  You. "What is your age?", "Oh! you are working?", "When are you coming to meet us?", “Oh, you’re doing digital marketing? What even is that? Can’t you work in a bank?”. Even before you answer one question there will be 10 more questions lined up. 

How can I forget, the "judgement segment". "That is too much makeup", "You have gotten thinner", "you should visit a dermatologist", "You are wearing black to a temple?". They might have chosen the wrong partners for themselves but will judge my choices. Great!

Over-enthusiastic photographer uncles are a species of their own. Somehow, they always manage to capture your worst angle. Eating gulab jamun? Perfect time for a close-up! Next thing you know, there’s a picture of you mid-bite plastered all over Facebook with a caption like “Family functions are love".

The most important one is the "round table gossip session". This happens generally after most people have left and only close family is staying back. "She started a new business again", "Their wedding didn't have pain puri", "They bought a new house? Where?", "I don't think they are going to have kids". None of these things affect anyone else but the people involved—yet somehow, gossiping about it becomes everyone’s business. Because at a family function, minding your own business is apparently the only unwelcome guest

Anyway, I can talk a lot about family functions but well that's it for today. Let me know in the comments how your family functions—are they chaotic, dramatic, or just one big gossip session? Until next time, don’t forget to apply too much makeup to family functions—it’s the best way to dodge the “You look tired” comments!